Monday, August 16, 2004

Touch me

Cuddle Party has made news and some word of mouth fame over the last few weeks. It's an interesting concept. Pay money to cuddle virtual strangers? Would it be something that I'd do?

Hmmm...

Possibly... For a time after my divorce, I'd go to strip clubs. But I soon found out I was more interested in paying the girls just to just let me put my arm around their shoulder and listen to their screwed up lives than I was having them dance for me.

American culture is so obsessed with sexuality.

It was shocking for me when I first saw young women and men in Asia walking hand in hand. My first reaction was... homosexuals?!? It wasn't until it was explained to me that holding hands was culturally acceptable, that I was shocked all over again.

I grew up in a very touch-controlled environment. I'm tempted to say touch deprived, but that really depends on your perspective and how much touch-need one has. I can say that I honestly don't remember a time when my father has ever put his hand on my shoulder or even patted me on the back. My mother is pretty much the same way. Not that they're bad, they just aren't the touchy feely kind of people. Think Garrison Keiller & Lake Wobegon Lutheran, and you have a pretty good picture of what my life was like growing up.

My ex-wife was kinda the same way. It's funny how often people marry someone who ends up just like their parent. "They" say we're trying to resolve issues... or in other words, we're just plain f#$%ed-up. One of the biggest problems in my marriage was the lack of intimacy. Not just the issue of sex, but for me, the lack of touching that I didn't have to initiate. That was probably even worse than the lack of sex for me. Yeah, yeah.... I know... that's a pretty girly thing to admit to...

I've made a conscious effort to be different with my kids. Arm over the shoulder, hand on the knee, spontaneous touching, whenever I can. I'm proud that my thirteen year old daughter still reaches out to hold my hand when we're walking together. I hope she'll still feel the same way when she's thirty.

Would I pay for touch? Would I go to a cuddle party? The answer to that is, yeah, I probably would. The problem is...

nobody likes to cuddle the creepy old guy in the corner. Yeah... I'm thinking there's going some pretty big money for this...

but then again...

much less expensive than a new wife, right?

7 Comments:

At August 17, 2004 at 1:57 PM, Blogger tan247 said...

I was raised by grandmother from about age 12. She wasn't the affectionate type. None of my immediate family members hug each other when we get together. I am very affectionate with my children. We hug and hold hands alot. I constantly tell them how much I love them. I didn't receive this growing up but I want to instill this in my children.

 
At August 24, 2004 at 3:09 PM, Blogger Junebugg said...

I'm much more "touchy feely" than any of my family. My parents were loving, but not physical. I believe that touch is very important in human relations. And as for the sex part, the brain is the most powerful sexual organ, but the skin is the most easily stimulated. The back of the neck, the bend of the knee, the base of the throat. Gotta go, this 40 something year old female is having a hot flash!! Wonder why???

 
At August 24, 2004 at 4:25 PM, Blogger mona said...

i had the same experience in taiwan. all these girls holding hands. at first, odd. then, just sweet and lovely.

cuddling is yummier than chocolate cake.

 
At August 27, 2004 at 8:35 PM, Blogger Jules said...

this culture is obsessed with sex. I just got a flier in the mail from my local suburban church - advertising a 6 week series of special sermons on the topic. Included were such titles as "Sex and the single person." "God's intended pleasure." etc. Even had a special sermon for the kiddies, something along the lines of "Middle and high schoolers: God says it's evil to have sex".

I say if "God" gave it to you, he meant for you to use it.

 
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