Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The lies we tell ourselves

I find, that many of the lies I tell myself start with two little words... "If only".

If only my wife had wanted to work on the marriage more... If only I was more attractive... If only I had more money... If only people were more trustworthy...

If only...

They feel like truths at the time I think or say them, but they're really not. They are lies. They're lies because the state of my life, the quality of my life really and truly is not dictated by those things outside of me. The external. The state and quality of my life is what I choose it to be. It is my choice. Nobody else's.

So much pain and suffering are caused by those lies.

Marriages break up. Crimes are justified. People hurt.

"If only" lies paralyze. Prevent action. Stifle solutions. Stuck in the quagmire of what could have been or what could be.

When I was young, I was taught not to lie to others.

If only I was taught not to lie to myself...

9 Comments:

At June 16, 2004 at 12:27 PM, Blogger Johnny said...

Interesting.

I dont decieve myself, at least I dont think I do. I realize that we are just a small piece of a very large puzzle -- perhaps even a very large puzzle that has no meaning.

That said, I fault my teachers for not telling the truth when we were younger. You can be whatever you want to be. That is the particular one that turned out to be not quite so true.

Hope this helps,

 
At June 16, 2004 at 5:54 PM, Blogger Chris said...

I don't think it's a question of being taught not to lie to others or ourselves. The problem is that we are not taught to be happy with ourselves. Our culture drives home this idea that one should be perfect like the people we see on TV. That's not an attainable goal. If you're overweight or not attractive or poor we are taught that something is wrong with us.

Learning to be happy with who you are is one of the best things you can doo for yourself.

Still, I know what you mean dude. Good post.

http://goodhusband.blogspot.com/

 
At June 17, 2004 at 12:29 PM, Blogger grumpy said...

well said...

http://grumpyblog.blogspot.com

 
At June 17, 2004 at 2:40 PM, Blogger Oddsfish said...

Profound. I've never really took the time to analyze that type of thing, but now that I do, I see that you're completely correct. Kudos to you for your insight!

randomconcoctions.blogspot.com

 
At June 18, 2004 at 11:47 AM, Blogger Urban Chic said...

lies are a pretty powerful thing...especially when it is to yourself

 
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