Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Instructions for Life

My parents got in trouble.

My parents told me last night they got in trouble for feeding their grandson popcorn.

Why?

Because my sister read somewhere that feeding popcorn to little children is harmful to them.

That's a new one to me. I mean, I'm all for keeping kids safe, but come on... really? Popcorn? I looked up what I could on the internet this morning about the dangers of popcorn. All I could find is a possible danger to factory workers who inhale the butter fumes of microwave popcorn, but nothing about popcorn being bad for kids.

Why is it when we read the latest email warnings they're taken as gospel? Did you hear about the gangs who were putting aids infected needles in gas pumps? What about the one where Bill Gates will send you money for forwarding his email?

Because it's written, because someone said it, it must be true, right?

Why is it when we read the latest self-help book, everything else is thrown out the window? Where would my life be if it weren't for Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, Dr. Joyce-Brothers, Dr. Spock, Dr. Atkins, or any other plethera of appointed experts specialized in the art of living?

I admit, I've read my share of 'experts'. Some have interesting insights (usually the ones I agree with) on how I should live my life. Is my life better for it? Yeah, I don't think so. Maybe for awhile I think differently about things, but for the most part, I am the same person I was before I read the advice.

So, what's the point?

Why are we like this? What is this need for an instruction manual for life?

When I get it figured out, I'll write a book about it.

In the mean time, please pass the popcorn.

4 Comments:

At June 22, 2004 at 10:20 AM, Blogger Murphy said...

Oh lord. I am sorry but I simply refuse to pass on the following:
a) bull sh*t emails like "forward this to ten friends and you wont be eaten by a rabbid billy goat in your parking garage after work TODAY."
b) alarmist health warnings, like "new study shows that people who spend more time commuting more likely to develop male pattern baldness."

For every study there is a counter study that proves something equally outlandish or totally contradicts the original study. I say, do what you want, live it up, life's short. If the kid likes popcorn, if it makes the kid happy, run with it.

Disclaimer: Please do not sue me if you get attacked by a rabbid billy goat after work in the parking garage.

 
At June 22, 2004 at 4:57 PM, Blogger Urban Chic said...

"b) alarmist health warnings, like "new study shows that people who spend more time commuting more likely to develop male pattern baldness."


fuck. I knew there was a reason for this bald spot ;)

 
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